I'm starting testosterone finally, after years of wanting it and getting so close, and having the opportunity taken from me. I should be starting tomorrow and I'm really excited. I'm also nervous, but excited more than nervous. I'm going to have to learn to poke myself, but I've done worse to myself so I'm sure a poke once a week will be fine.

Looking for a job and getting more and more nervous. I want to be useful, but I know it's all going to crash around me again because I'm just mentally not built for working. I'm too autistic, and I don't mean that as an excuse. I am genuinely not high functioning enough in the areas where it counts to hold a job where I have to speak to customers, and that's basically the only jobs that exist for me. I don't know what to do.

Anyways, um. I'm kind of falling behind on commissions right now. I need to work on them and I will, I'm just about to start my period and I'm getting my ass kicked by my own body right now. StarClan watch over me while I go through this dumbass period. I hope testosterone stops my periods.